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The Jock Connection on the Trail of Billy Bagman the Colostomy Comic

  • By: Robert Little
  • Views: 7674
  • Language: English
  • Category: Modern Fiction
  • Age Rating: Adult Content
  • Version Number: 5.0
  • Book Rating:
  • Word Count: 122816
  • Publisher Name: Indie
  • Available Formats: eBooks - mobi, epub, pdf
  • Devices: iPad, Sony Readers(all), Kindle Editions, Be Book, Nook, PC, Laptop, Mac, iPhone, Android phones and table PCs
  • ISBN: pdf: 9781780259956 mobi: 9781780253985 epub: 9781780253558


Jock Connection on the trail of Billy Bagman the Colostomy Comic is a comic and ribald novel. There is sex (too much and two little) cross-dressing, trips to Blackpool, undercover work in an Irish community, farcical Masonic jiggery-pokery and some good old Scottish dourness. It is not so much a Road Novel as a Revenge Novel.


Scotland’s Highland & Island Arts undertook a critique of this book. Beneath are some of their conclusions.

Novel: The Jock Connection on the trail of Billy Bagman the Colostomy Comic.
This is a comic and ribald novel of 120,000 words, definitely a page-turner, firmly within a comic tradition, maybe somewhere between Flann O’Brien and Tom Sharpe. It is well-written and enjoyable, though at times hardly politically correct, with such unlikely police constables as the London Met Police duo MacNab and MacSporran, who aren’t very pc PC’s.
Like London itself, all life is here.

The book details the misadventure of two maverick Scots constables They are not rebels without a cause however and the pair persevere to see their shenanigans vindicated at the end.
The novel is an almost burlesque tour-de-force but it leans heavily on humour, ranging from farce to the stand-up comedy of Billy Bagman. The humour is relentless but it was never too predictable or too contrived. Much of the humour rests with the relationship between MacNab and MacSporran, and between these chuckle brothers and their more serious colleagues. The humour is not for the politically correct or the faint-hearted, but is of High chuckle/chortle factor throughout.

There is a lot going on here. There is a mayor and his wife, a Divisional Commander and his wife, a police superintendent and his wife, a ribald comedian, the anarchic duo of Harry and Hamish and various supporting characters. There is sex (too much and two little) cross-dressing, plenty of farting and spicy food. This involves trips to Blackpool, undercover work in an Irish community, farcical Masonic jiggery-pokery and some good old Scottish dourness. It is not so much a Road Novel as a Revenge Novel, where Hamish and Harry set out to right wrongs and restore the natural order. With all this going on, the author kept it all ticking over and got us all there in the end. (no pun intended!) It takes some skill to keep everything on track


Matt Bradbeer
19/09/2013 22:30
Image User
The Author's main aim from book sales is to raise funds to support medical researchers in Ovarian cancer, particularly projects with a focus on the hereditary syndrome HNPCC (also known as Lynch syndrome) and, To raise the awareness of the HNPCC syndrome by providing information about HNPCC to the wider public With these in mind, the research the foundation funds, and the awareness it raises about the syndrome, will positively impact the outcomes of women with Ovarian Cancer. Ovarian cancer is the fourth most common cause of death from cancer amongst woman in the UK as it has a highly aggressive natural history and causes almost 125,000 deaths per year worldwide. Around one in 10 women who develop ovarian cancer is known to have been born with a faulty gene that runs in her family. The Nicola Murray Foundation will focus on funding projects that should ultimately impact on better detection, treatment, services and outcomes to women with Ovarian Cancer and those who carry HNPCC.
Matt Bradbeer
29/07/2012 18:31
Image User
I have just finished reading Jock Connection for the second time, this time "properly" as a relaxed bedtime read, opposed to a "review" read like last time. You could make a film out of the book or a short TV series; everything is there. Although not in the fraternity myself, coming from a Masonic family and with a fair spattering of coppers in there too, I have widely recommended it to family.             If Rob was ever a Met cop, and had a rocky relationship with some senior police officers, then he certainly gets his own back here. No senior police officer in these days of political correctness would ever countenance any of the “cloth” acting in the manner Rob has his ordinary plods doing. Senior police officers would be well guarded that, on reaching their promotional pinnacle, that they didn’t fall by the wayside in the manner Rob has decided these characters would. Crying out for the sex, taken away from him by a vexed wife, leads Commander Dewsnap a merry dance in a painful ballroom. Crying out because his wife has suddenly become a nymphomaniac doesn’t always mean Superintendent Bunce is able to steer clear of the sex his wife is suddenly demanding. And to wind the whole shebang up in a crossdresser’s night club, with a copper turned comic on stage, a mad police sergeant, a hermaphrodite goat and a TV investigative journalist in the Roger Cook mould outside, is a stroke of comic genius. Let’s see it in the movies.
Robert Little
21/10/2011 16:20
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If Rob Little was ever one of the Met’s finest, and if he has cast either of the two “Jock Connection” members in his own likeness, then he must have had a shaky relationship with his senior officers. He certainly gives those characters a hard time, getting his own back, perhaps, (fitting them up with sexual situations, too) in this most humorous of police tales. A superior officer demotes Rob’s heroes from the elite ranks of the CID, where they were contented in their ways and successful thief takers. The Jocks can see no good reason for this, abhorring the fact that university graduates, one with a degree in zoology and with hardly any beat experience, have taken their positions. Their return to the feet-numbing drudgery of beat duty gets up their noses, in a big way; right up, to impair their brain’s clear-thinking properties. Rob, in his own style, sets Constable Hamish MacNab out on a vengeful mission, an act of retribution. Hamish succeeds, aggravating the superior responsible for the demotion and is reprimanded. Harry MacSporran’s “act of sheer stupity” is pokingly different and also senior officer aggravating. The fun begins over again at the “Out in the sticks nick”, where they’re both sent to as punishment. I’ll tell you no more. Buy the book.